May 2011
22 posts
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“The Thong Song” -Sisqo
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That part of Lady Marmalade (2001) where the girls...
Terrible. Lil’ Kim can’t fucking sing, so what else was she supposed to do for her vocal run? I’d like to imagine that Lil’ Kim was pretty stressed about recording that part of the song. Like, Lil Kim stayed up extra late the night before wondering like, “OMG. I have that vocal run part that I have to do tomorrow. I have no idea what I am going to do.”
And...
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Ugh, I fucking hate clubs.
My sister gives me a call:
Sister: Hey what are you doing tonight?
Me: Um writing.. I dont know… Why?
Sister: Come with me to a club.
Me:….
Sister: I need somebody to go with me tonight.
Me: ……
Sister: Please? I have nobody to go with! I’ll pick you up at 9:30.
Me: ……
click.
Here’s how these club sessions usually go:
My sister takes me to some hip hop or...
i just now discovered:
1. what Tumblr messages are.
2. that they publish when you answer them.
Also, WTF? Tumblr. Make a better way for me to post the Tumblr replies people send me. Do I have to take a fucking screenshot everytime? Get it together.
simplyglam asked: loI have natural hair!
Baseball is the worst.
It is such a slow sport.
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Fast Food Nails are boss
Wah doing their usual dope shit at a Lazy Oaf Event:
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WHAT? LEON ROBINSON R U KIDDING ME?!
Tonight I was watching the made for t.v. Temptations Movie and I realized that Leon Robinson was DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT. OH DAMN!
Swag. Great style. And honestly, that scene where he has the blue shirt open just makes me mad in a “ARE YOU KIDDING ME YOU ARE LOOKING MADD GOOD RIGHT NOW! GET OUTTA HERE!” Sorta way. Ugh. Thanks, 1998 for the Lady Boner.
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Gettin' ready to take a shower when I notice that...
Me: WAIT! Please don't tell me you're about to take a shit.
J.J.: Why?
Me: Because I want to take a shower right now. And I hate when you poo right before I take a shower & it ends up smelling like warm moist shit the entire time.
J.J.: Well, I just have to pee. But please believe I wish I could take a shit right now because you are annoying as fuck.
Me: I love you, you idiot.
J.J: Ditto, stupid.
iamthatkidd-deactivated20111104 asked: I love your blog, everything you say is hilarious and true and I relate prettyyyy well haha=]
viddywellbrother asked: You're exaggerating. I'm black. I LOVE Arrested development. I think you're cute. The end.
whiskeyandwhimsy asked: I started following you today and one new post by you later, I am convinced it was the best decision I could have ever made in my tumblr life.
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A scene from my upcoming movie: "Understandably,...
INT. STARBUCKS- DAY
Two attractive black dudes check me out in line as I order my Iced Coffee. Both of them are swagged out and gorgeous. I go to sit down, open my laptop and do a little blogging on the ole Tumblr account. After they order, one of them approaches me at my table and sits down across from me. OMFG!
Black dude: Sup beautiful, what’s your name?
Me: Jessica. (Play it cool, girl)
Black...
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HOLY SHIT!
I got a bunch of new followers today! Mad props to Fuckyeahfamousblackgirls for that ridiculously awesome reblog.
Illy!
Thanks for following.
( . )( . ),
-Jess
P.S. This is me being excited!:
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Mrs. Huxtable? Oh, Dayum girl!
Phylicia Rashad lookin’ AMAZIN’!
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Ay yo. ERRBODY shut up about Khloe Kardashian
Her body looks super damn good to me.
WORK IT GIRL!
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“Bad Things” -Jace Everett
Damn....
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Yesterday I Took my first pole dancing class: THIS...
I took my first pole dancing class yesterday y’all.
I’ve been feeling sexually repressed lately. I realized this when I was looking in the bathroom mirror while eating cereal and pushing my boobs together to create more cleavage. After 6 minutes of doing that shit I was like, “Oh damn. Something needs to be done.” So I signed up for my intro to pole dancing class at Heart...
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