14 minutes! #21stbirthday!
RT @iluvbutts247: Bangro Grungry!
This could easily be one of the coolest weekends of my entire life. #greenwedding #21stbirthday!
Pageant moms are generally pretty fat and ugly.
RT @carpleton: So freaking glad @kanyewest showed up.
Holy Shit. @kanyewest . What a great birthday gift.
RT @WendyWebShow: Episode 2 of my web show! Do you know the “web” is not just a spider’s home but also an internet? http://bit.ly/c2Hl2a
i’ll be staying @sarahparga ‘s apartment for the next few days. I will show my appreciation by shitting on all of her drapes and curtains.
Tell your Jeri Curl to quit dripping.
RT @BathBoysComedy: From the makers of inception comes Contraception. First they went into a mind… This time. A vagina http://j.mp/9lE90g
“So…can dogs be retarded?” - @ROGERTHE3RD ( @Sarahparga )
Have you met my two buddies? Phillip and Rosebud? http://tweetphoto.com/34333549
“i Only dance the Macarena! EVERY song. EVERY time!” #camperwisdom
“Hugs can get weird.” #camperwisdom
Holy shit! Blue Slurpees and indoor forts for everyone! #thekidinme
“The Party’s a-startin’!” #katiesbacheloretteparty
We got towed! Bust!
I’m pretty sure that makes TWO R&B singers named Jo-Jo who have both pretty much dropped off of the face of the Earth.
Cagematch with @infantetony @rogerthe3rd @tylerpoop and @iluvbutts247 . Hate it here!
RT @MrDonaldGlover: Just found out about getting “iced”. I’ve got a Smirnoff in my pocket. Let’s fucking do this. http://yfrog.com/jwkkzj
Check me out with Up, Up, Up! We have a dope-ass brand new sketch show tonight at 8 at UCB. http://losangeles.ucbtheatre.com/shows/1684
Also, Happy Birthday @facianea You’re the best around!
Nobody steals or shits more on this beach than these seagulls. Thanks seagulls, for everything you’ve done for me today.
My older sister just told me that after she gets her PHd, I’ll have to call her “Dr. Sister.” Thats pretty funny, but no.
Benji just got iced twice. Happy birthday and nice to meet you!
Quidditch is a gangster’s game where you gotta catch that fuckin’ snitch.
Somebody tell my new tiger nails to quit being so dope. http://tweetphoto.com/31997121
Dudes. Wendy Williams interviews a beaver! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kubn7CWt6qg&feature=player_embedded#at=22
Cream on the inside, bird shit splatters on the outside.
RT @infantetony: @msjwilly gay
I CANNOT re-read Harry Potter because I will get TOO attached. I love it too much.
“Jabroni”: A loser, a poser, or a lame-ass.
The game of Craps has to be freak- nasty- gross if it is ever misinterpreted.
My family is teaching me how to play poker and 21. They’re just prepping me for the shit ton of money I’m about to lose. #27daysuntil21
Poker. “Big Black Dealer Award” goes to my Dad. “Chips that look like Pogs” award goes to my Mom. http://tweetphoto.com/30933016
Happy 4th (meal)!
I’m in a club in Hollywood and I’m not 21! Omg! What do I do?!
RT @WendyWebShow: Nacho cheese and Gummi Bears is a great source of dietary fiber. It’s true, I read it in my brain.
gonna conclude that today was kind of sort of a great day!
These McDonalds Mini-Meals are just Happy Meals without the gift wrapping.
do the hustle. #dootdootdootdoodootdootdoo