jess & jake: How to Be the Dopest Guy Ever. (From... →
jessnjake: By: Jess Have a confident swagger. a. Believe the shit out of yourself. Your swagger is a belief in yourself that manifests in the way you walk, talk, dress, fuck, etc. I don’t give a fuck if you are a dude who wants to fucking build a…
As it stands, most dudes that are funny are “boyfriend material.” Needless to say I am DTF all of the time. No shame.
RT @infantetony: A Poopie Movie #babymovies
RT @thesulk: I’m saving my first suicide threat for the perfect girl.
RT @FacianeA: RT @collegeteam: College Team Show Tonight at 8pm! 10 Bonelies if you call ahead @comedysportzla ! #ILoveCSzLA
“I still eat rappers. Mmm. Scrumptious.” -Lil Wayne #freeweezy
Here I go: tonight! College Team at 8! Tomorrow! The High at 10:30! Saturday! Date Night at 9:30. All @comedysportzla Come see me! Wuv U!
On my little brother’s facebook. Saw that he commented on a girl’s photo of her in a bikini with the words “BOOTY MEAT”. #comeonbro
With this Afro I have a permanent smug look that indicates that I know that I’m cooler than everyone around me. For that. I’m sorry.
At work. Really want to throw this hanger at a customer’s head and C-walk out of here. But I can’t.
I really hate that your wiener does that.
It’s official. The Afro is coming back tonight.
RT @SicklyKurt: Your wrong @msjwilly beards make men more manly! Suck a D bro! Keep your head up @typhillips!
Mom: I know you work real hard and all, but I still get low-key pissed when you say we’re having sandwiches for dinner.What am I paying u 4?
I cannot believe that the KKK is still a thing.
The Nineties. And other black dudes. RT @infantetony : Who thinks I can pull off a flat top?
RT @WhitneyCummings: So Drew Carey is really going through with this whole Price is Right thing.
RT @typhillips: @msjwilly thanks bro
GUESS WHO JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT A TRAIN THAT GOES TO UPLAND, CA ? THIS GIRL!
RT @ROGERTHE3RD: Rick Moranis why’d you stop shrinking your kids. I miss you.
Is it terrible that every time I leave my Women of Color class, I don’t like white people for, like, 10 minutes?
Dating roasts! Metaphorical bean roasts! Drake in a wheelchair! Pizzzzza! Octopuses! Pics of food! More! www.jessnjake.tumblr.com
RT @FacianeA: A great start! RT @thelastmcneal: gosh…..i um…….i……..
“I am just different.”
RT @FacianeA: Yaaaaaay! RT @thelastmcneal: What? RT @FacianeA: A wonderful retweet! RT @msjwilly: RT @FacianeA: A great start! RT @thela …
RT @infantetony: So you finally watched my showcase! What’dja think? “@msjwilly: Can’t stop watching stand-up. Note to self: A lot of pe …
Someone else: “Oh my goodness! You do comedy?! Quick! Say something funny!” Me: “Blow me.”
My mom told me that I’m way too aggressive for a girl. Idk what shes talking about. I told her to kiss my roody poo candy ass.
Can’t stop watching stand-up. Note to self: A lot of people can suck at it.
RT @JacobWysocki: On to the next one.
The best part about being friends with a bunch of guys? Early morning texts informing you about their “no-reason-boners.” Thanks, bros!
COME ON WITH THIS PRINCESS AND THE FROG STREAM INSTANTLY. Well. I’ve got a dream that is about to come true for 7 year old me! Here we go!
“Everyone isn’t going to get it.”
I’m bringing tacos to the picnic, so nobody else do that.
RT @DCpierson: Guys: @kanyewest is the only one who realizes that it’s The Future. All your criticisms are my favorite things about him.
Things I learned yesterday: 1. that I’m in love with a lot of new people. 2. Some people fuck up, so now I want you to blow me.
“Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Let it go.” -Jenny Flack (come on girl.)
RT @MrDonaldGlover: Drunk tweet!
RT @RadRobyn: “You’re the best. Aroooound. Nothing’s ever gonna break ya down.”
Remember Hydro Thunder? http://yfrog.com/1gb6saj
I am in hysterics. I just laughed too hard. Whens the last time you did that?
Things I Love Friday: grilled cheese sandwiches, mix tapes, overcast beaches and Kanye interviews.
Going cross-eyed at that moment right before you fall asleep.